Hola!!
I hope you're all doing good. I had a weird week. Let's get into it.
First of all, it rains so hard here. The saying "it's raining cats and dogs" all of a sudden makes sense to me because the size of the rain drops here are actually equivalent to baby cats and dogs. They're huge. They could knock you out if you're not careful. Don't even get me started on the thunder. I'm pretty sure one of these days its going to rip open the sky. There was a pretty intense thunderstorm the other day in Cedar and it made me think of how incredible storms that would happen in Florida. I say it in a future email but I see God in the storms just as much in the blue sky beauty. You feel it in your chest when it thunders. Its awesome.. and terrifying. It reminds me of the Uintas. Its like clockwork. Every single day there's always rain storms at 3. People tell me it's like that for the whole summer. I've really been thinking about how much I miss that lately. It really was right on time every day in the late afternoon.
Wednesday we did a pass-along lesson. So it was four sister missionaries and an investigator. The other two sisters were the ones that found this guy and were passing him to us so they did the lesson. All I'll say is it was rough. We kept jumping around and weren't really letting him ask his questions and then all of a sudden at the end, one of the sisters invited him to be baptized. Personally, I was shocked, confused, and a little bit uncomfortable, but he paused and said: "I know that what you're saying is good... and I know God wouldn't lead me astray with the feelings I have when I hear what you sisters have to say... give me some time to think but I would like that, yes."
To realize and see firsthand that it truly isn't the missionary but the spirit who is the teacher was incredible. Even though our words were all over the place, the spirit was in one. Directed exactly at how this guy needed it. I'm so thankful for that witness of the spirit because missionaries by themselves couldn't do it. We're incompetent without the spirit as our constant companion. I actually feel a little conflicted reading this because I 100% agree with the things I said about the spirit and how missionaries can't do anything without it but my initial reaction to the abrupt invitation to baptism also seemed to hold some significance too because over time he decided not to be baptized. I don't know what that means necessarily but timing is everything.
Thursday night we get a call from someone who needed some service so we went over to her apartment the next morning. When we walk in she's completely naked.
C o m p l e t e l y.
You're probably thinking "Cmon now sister Beck. Let's be serious" and I AM. Turns out the help she needed was getting showered and changing her diapers. I didn't really let on how much it bothered me that we did this. I think I was trying to keep it at an appropriate description as a missionary but MAN was I ticked. I simply do not have the heart for that stuff. Call me inconsiderate. I was gobsmacked.
Listen, I consider myself to be a pretty helpful person. I do what I can. And I am aware that this is the circle of life! It happens to all of us. But this?? This is not my area of expertise. Baby diapers? Easy. 50+ diapers? Unfortunately just not for me! I stand by this statement
Anyway, we did it. Because we're missionaries and I guess that means we are automatically certified CNAs? I'm not going to sit here and lie to you guys. I was holding back tears and trying not to dry heave the entire time. I'm pretty sure I am one of the most sheltered people on the planet. My eyes haven't seen much.. but I saw things and touched things that are now seared into my brain. I can't close my eyes without a flash of it all now. Shoutout to you nurses. You are special and appreciated. I can't stop laughing at this I am so dramatic. While this experience really was so jarring to me, I have seen and done so much that this doesn't even phase me anymore.
I will probably have to work through this one for a few days. Who knew it'd be on a mission that'd I'd be the most exposed to... things. Not me.
My trainer had a realization though that she thinks she would love to be a nurse and go to school for that so that's amazing for her... I just don't know why God had to include me in on that discovery. I think about this all the time actually. Anyway, my comp wanted to keep going back every morning but I talked some sense into her. That's gotta be some kind of liability issue right?? We'll help her find an actual nurse.
I have learned to really hate Ring doorbells. Everyone has them and you know what those little stinkers do? They let people know its the missionaries beforehand whereas without them, they open the door and realize too late who it is and then they HAVE to talk to us. Because people can see who we are from their phones we either get completely ignored and can hear them talking in the house or they talk to us through the door. That's right they don't even open up to tell us they don't want to talk to us. On Friday we were at someones door and the guy yells from somewhere in his house "I AM NOT INTERESTED PLEASE LEAVE". So weird. This is my petition to boycott Ring. Solely for missionary efforts. Who's with me? I forgot about this! The struggle was so real. I wanted to cover the camera on the ring every time we went up to doors because if they could see who it was from their phone they wouldn't even bother!
Love you all! I appreciate all the love and support!!
- A traumatized sister Beck
Comentarios