Well… we switched to full French this week and let me just say. It’s been humbling. Was never not humbling I'll tell you that much.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
When you see a French word, you can drop about half of any of the letters you’d like and THEN say it and you’ll most likely get it right. Still true.
Apparently it’s not going to fly using Spanish words in place of the French words that I don’t know. Yeah no, it can go the other way but I got roasted for inputting spanish words.
I have a severely unreasonable, unexplainable fear of saying “Paris France” in a French accent. I know... try to explain that one. Its so embarrassing, I always sound so dumb when I say it “PaRi FrAncE” ... help. hahaha whaaaat. That's so silly..... but yeah I still feel uncomfy saying it seriously.
On paper I can decipher a lot of French but when people speak it, my brain doesn’t have enough time to compute. THANKFULLY this got better but for the longest time written French was a lot easier for me.
I generally have no clue of what’s going on anymore. = me my whole mission.
We had our first French TRC this week……….. I think I sweat through the equivalent of 3 shirts. = me every day in Florida. And that “grace” I was talking about last week, did in fact “fly out the window”. grace was no where to be found at times.
While it went actually very good especially for being our first time in only French, I’ve gotta say, Sister Nielsen really carried the team. I did my best with asking questions and saying what little I knew but Sis Nielsen killed it. Love her. So grateful at least one of us was competent. I felt a little sad because our investigator friend shared something so personal that I could really empathize with but I didn’t know how to express myself well enough in French which was hard. THIS IS FORESHADOWING. I struggled with this the whole time. People would pour their hearts out to us and I couldn't even express myself properly to try and help or give words of comfort.
The natural man in me wants to tear myself into shreds with how little French I know or how I didn’t contribute enough, etc. I did occasionally have a nice little moment of tearing myself down throughout my mission. I think that's pretty common. But my inner therapist knows that I really did do my best and that’s all I can do. There’s no point in beating myself up over this because I’m not supposed to be perfect at it. I’ll keep learning and I’ll keep trying and eventually I will get better! :) Man, where did that mindset go? Just joking I would remember it every now and again but I think it's a really healthy way of thinking about things!
Ouvre la bouche. Abre la boca. Open your mouth.
We talk a lot about the gift of tongues and how, for that gift to work, you need to act on faith, and just, “ouvre la bouche” ;) Honestly sometimes I get really overwhelmed when I think about speaking both Spanish and French. You should, HAH it's a lot. I want to know French because that’s obviously the dominant language in France, but I want to be proficient enough in Spanish because that’s what I was called to preach in. Yup. You may be thinking “Sir Kloe you said you’ve had 12+ years of Spanish.. you should be fine” and you’re mostly right, but I had 2+ years off of frequent Spanish study/practice and I definitely was seeing the effects of that. Pluuussss, having conversations with natives is a whole other story. I hadn't had much practice with that. And that was very apparent. While the French is coming slowly but surely I’ve noticed that somehow my Spanish has been improving immensely too. <3
I realized this week that as I have been giving my best efforts to French, Heavenly Father has been taking care of my Spanish. This, to me, is a manifestation of one of the ways the gift of tongues can work. I put in the work for both languages, but for the things which I still fall short on Heavenly Father makes up for. Huh... that is really cool. I had forgotten about this. I think it changed for me out in the field but they changed for the better, for the harder too but ultimately for my good. I hope that makes sense. It just amazes me how God works in ways that I would’ve never thought of. I am so thankful for that. #true
My family surprised me on Friday!!!!!! I was getting ready for my first class and all of a sudden my dad came in with his phone recording and I was like… “uh… what’s up?” I thought he was trying to show me something but he goes, “Look out your window” and my brother Jackson, my sister Aubrey, and their kids were out there. I don’t usually cry with things like that but immediately I got so choked up and weepy. It’s been a hard week with everything being in French. I feel really exhausted. I know I joke about my “Spanch” but my brain really is working in overtime because I’m sifting through my responses in English, then Spanish, and THEN French. I realize it’s all part of the process though. I'm willing to do whatever the Lord wants me to do, and I genuinely believe He wouldn’t have given this call to me if He didn’t think I could handle it. All that being said, I really needed some family time this weekend. I am so happy I get to be with all my people one more time before I’m gone for 18 months. I remember this so clearly. I was so, SO thankful and still am for them coming to Utah. I just barely went and spent some time with them in Arizona and it was so good for me. Aubrey helped me a lot with processing things and all the weird feelings I have had since being home. They are the best! I love being an aunt to their kids.
Today we went to my brother’s grave We sat around him and talked about our favorite things about Jesus. Some things that were said was that He’s: Our advocate, patient, loving, and trustworthy.
As a new missionary something that has stood out about Jesus to me is how He is a carpenter not just of materials but of men. He is able to turn all of us imperfect young adults into useful tools in spreading the gospel and bringing people unto Him. I am thankful for that because I’m not sure how effective missionaries would be otherwise haha. Wow this is good stuff. Amen.
Then we went to the Dude Ranch which I mentioned in my first email (it’s SO good and none of us know for sure if we love it so much for it’s food or for the memories and sentiments that it holds). I misssss the Dude Ranch, pray it'll be open this week when we go!
My brother passed away on May 10th 2012. He’ll be 9 years old this year. I can’t believe it’s been nine years. Now he's 10 and a half. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=pfbid02EUnte7exyjNs7EzsLShGXKo2iFctvRgQspKvCajRhA7acwm8os44Q5sHRcEGStrTl&id=100008641127345
While it would have been the greatest thing ever to have a little brother here, I can’t help but be so thankful for everything he’s taught us from Heaven.
At age 10 I was more sure of the Plan of Salvation than I was of anything. I knew then and still know now with a surety that we will be reunited with him and we’ll get to be with him for eternity. That part of my testimony has always stayed firm and it’s ultimately what drove me to want to serve a mission.
This is the gospel of good news and happy endings. I’m thankful to be spreading it. Same.
I love you all so much
je te verrai la semaine prochaine
os veo la semana que viene
- Sœurmana Beck
des photos
me and my PmGs
I have the nicest neighbors ever!! They stopped by and gave me a care package and gave me some très bon conseil. It was so, so thoughtful. So many of my favorite things Thank you Buchanans!!
The best surprise
I also ouvre ma bouche for nutter butters.. I eat on average five trillion nutter butters a week. I found a love for them when I lived in Cedar. They were always one of my class snacks so when I have them I always think about SUU Now I’ll think of the MTC too because they really get me through the day. (Double nutty is the best. Then you put two of those bad boys together and make it quadruple nutty. You’re set. Thank me later)
This made me laugh, so that’s how you know I’m truly a missionary now.
I face timed with my Logie bear and as soon as he saw me he said, “Gooey!!” for the first time!
It made my little aunt heart burst into a million pieces. I can’t believe I’m going to have double the amount of nephews/nieces when I come home :,) I love being an aunt and I love that they call me Gooey. (And I love that I get to squeeze them one more time;)
I tabbed up my French scriptures this week and let me tell ya. Nothing can stop me now. I am untouchable. My missionary powers have increased tenfold. ;)
During the week Frère Lerohl asked us to come up with a mythical creature for our companions I said sir Nielsen was a sparkly, glowy, majestic unicorn and she said I’m a leprechaun because I leave gold everywhere I go Somehow the weirdest question turned out to be one of the nicest compliments HA, so here’s us:
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